FORGIVENESS

I want to share with you some thoughts on forgiveness:

“If everyone practiced an eye for an eye, the whole world would go blind.”

We live in a world of fierce competition in which people are willing to harm each other in order to succeed. There are generational cycles of unforgiveness and ungrace. Ungrace exists in families and in our communities. We think: “You hurt me. You wronged me. You offended me. You do not deserve grace. I am going to give you what you give me.”

Forgiveness is not a natural act. It takes the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit within us. Maybe you have heard it said, “I don’t get mad, I get even.” How many movies have been built on the premise of getting revenge for a wrong that has been suffered? This is the way of the world. It is a cycle that is often repeated. Hurting people hurt others. The world’s greatest evils are simply a response to a wrong that was suffered in the past. You take my eye, I will take both of your eyes! The next offense is usually greater than the previous. It is the small offenses against us that rob us of the joy of life and the joy of each other. We miss greater things in others because we are obsessed with smaller things. The only thing that breaks the cycle is forgiveness. The only way to continue to live in relationship with another person is if forgiveness is part of that relationship.

The very word forgiveness includes the word “give.” There is a sacrifice involved in forgiveness. The sacrifice is not on the one who is forgiven, but on the one who forgives. Therefore forgiveness is not fair. Think about the cross of Jesus. Our forgiveness is secured by the sacrifice that Jesus made. There was no cost on our part. It is hardly fair that Jesus would die for our sin. The Book of Romans reminds us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us: “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). If we are to focus on another person being worthy of our forgiveness, we will never forgive. Forgiveness is not fair to the person giving it. But we can let go of what is fair because we have been treated more than fair by God. Plus, we have something greater than fairness. We have the joy of Jesus and the knowledge that our debt is paid.

Here is a statement which can be said with certainty: You have been wronged. Every human being who has ever lived has been taken advantage of by others. We have people who owe us an apology. We have people who owe us restitution. We have people who need to make right what they have wronged. They owe us a great debt, and they have no excuse. Often, the deepest wounds have been inflicted by those closest to us – a father, a mother, a brother, a sister, or a trusted friend. We are justified in being bitter and angry. There is no doubt that it will cost us to let go of that debt, but we will gain something more. Ask God to give us grace and the strength to let go and to give forgiveness. Do not wait for the other person to take the first step towards reconciliation. But let us give grace as God has given to us.

At the conclusion of the Parable of the Unmerciful Servant, Jesus tells us that forgiveness comes from the heart (see Matthew 18:35). The power of forgiveness comes from God dwelling in us. This is an important point. Forgiveness does not flow out of religious obligation. It is not something that we do out of guilt. We don’t forgive because we have to forgive. It is birthed out of a deep sense of unworthiness and gratitude before God.

Forgiveness is difficult. God is aware of the depth of our hurt and pain. But Jesus calls his followers to die to ourselves. We take up our losses and crosses. This means dying to ungrace and unforgiveness. To forgive is to die to self. It is putting to death our pride, our anger, our bitterness, and our desire for vengeance. It is giving up things we don’t want to give up. But when we fail to put these things to death, we miss out on the new life God intends for us. Forgiveness is hard, but there is a new beginning that comes with forgiveness.

God invites us to bring the pain to Him. No one is healed by hurting another person or by withholding forgiveness. It takes faith to believe that God has a greater ability to bring justice to a given situation than we do. Forgiveness is an act of dependence upon God and letting go of our need to be in control of executing justice.

The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:17-21:

“Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honourable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

No one said it was easy. Forgiveness is hard. It is not natural, but supernatural. It is not humanly inspired, but divinely inspired. It is only through God’s forgiveness and grace that we are enabled to forgive others. There is a saying, “when I forgive, I release a prisoner, only to realize that prisoner was me.” When we fail to forgive, it keeps us locked in a prison. It keeps us locked into bitterness, anger, resentment, envy, and pride. It is a prison of our own doing. But the doors of the prison have been opened up through God’s forgiveness. We no longer need to sit in that prison. Our release has been secured. But will we still choose to live as a prisoner when we have been freed?