HAPPINESS

You are unhappy because you are yearning for happiness. But what is happiness? If it a feeling and how do you go about to get it? Or is it a just a perception?

You may think that happiness depends

· on your circumstances;

· other people will make you happy;

· if only I (lose weight, win the lotto, …;

· only people with whom it goes constantly well are happy;

· happy people never experience depression or heart aces;

· you will find happiness if you pursue it; or

· happiness is only a fleeting emotion.

Let’s look at happiness according to psychologists views and what we can do to be happy.

1. Happiness is something from within. If your circumstances are going to change, you will not necessarily be happy. If you are not happy with yourself now a change will make no difference. Happiness is a choice. Be thankful for what you have and focus on that. Then you will experience happiness. You will be happy when you accept who you are and what you have. If your circumstances need to change, the ability to accept it and make it work lies within you.

2. Only you can ensure your happiness. Other people may contribute to your happiness, but they cannot solely make you happy. The greatest commandment is to love your neighbour as you love yourself. You need to change your perceptions about yourself.

3. To pursue a goal will not make you happy; but a meaningful life will. Material gain can also lead to problems and unhappiness and if it makes you happy it will not last for long Thus you keep on setting goals to reach and it will not ensure everlasting happiness. If you do not have what you desire, appreciate what you have. This way you will focus on what you have, who you are and what you can do.

4. Only people who appreciate their lives will be able to overcome difficulties in life and continue to appreciate every moment. Bad things also happen to good people. Remember that your happiness does not depend on your emotions or circumstances.

5. Happy people are not perfect. They also experience depression and unhappiness. The difference is that they are optimists and have a positive outlook on life while unhappy people are pessimists and negative. Happiness is not an unrealistic on unreachable goal or emotion. It is a positive outlook on life.

6. Viktor Frankl said that the search for happiness is linked to the search for meaningfulness. Life itself does not have meaning; we need to create it. This is in line with our spiritual perspective that meaning is based on values. Augustinus said that our souls will keep on yearning until we find safety, peace and joy in our Creator.

7. Happiness is a holistic philosophy of life. There is a difference between happiness and joy, and one intends to think that happiness is not lasting as long as joy.

The conclusion is that happiness is within you. One does not have to look at external factors in your life to be happy. Look at the internal you and open that door to find happiness. Phil Bosman said that happiness is like a shadow: it follows you everywhere. Happiness is like an echo from within deep of your heart: the answer is to give yourself.

Happiness is something we create in our minds,

It’s not something you search for and so seldom find –

It’s just waking up and beginning the day

By counting our blessings and kneeling to pray –

It’s giving up thoughts that breed discontent

And accepting what comes as a “gift heaven-sent”-

It’s giving up wishing for things we have not

And making the best of whatever we’ve got –

It’s knowing that life is determined for us’

And pursuing our tasks without fret, fume or fuss -

For it’s by completing what God gives us to do

That we find real contentment and happiness, too.

Helen Steiner Rice